I’m quite amazed that the internet held out this long.

I finished studying the Roland Barthes essay on structuralism about an hour ago. It was amazing that I could understand a bit of what he was trying to say regarding the “structuralist man”, and how art does not simply “reflect” reality, but makes a fabrication of it containing inputs from personal experiences of the creators.

That sounds completely gross, but it’s actually quite interesting. And I’m betting that I missed half the meaning of the essay, which will make Professor Legasto’s class all the more interesting. And if I didn’t miss it, if I understood it correctly, then I admit that I would be a bit proud of myself, because really, just getting through a sentence is a challenge, let alone a whole paragraph. I’m not really the critical type.

My room is actually pretty conducive for studying. No television, an option for yellow or white lamplight, all my books an papers accesible in the huge bedside drawers. I don’t have a desk here, so I use this foldable wooden table which is quite perfect for my computer. I set up speakers to play foreign music while I study, so that I have a beat but my brain doesn’t have to work on understanding the lyrics. And the bed is big enough so that I can still sleep comfortably even if I have a littering of readings and pens and books around me.

And the kitchen is easy access, ohoho.

…

Yes, I still think about it! Alright?! But I really can’t get mad at him. And all this motivation he’s given me is quite helpful, even if he doesn’t know it. I’m actually more excited about academics now than I was when I first started. And also, I can concentrate on improving myself without worrying about what he thinks.

I’m slowly learning to use all this negative energy and channel it into something useful. Thank goodness.

Resurrection Post

REVIVAL.

Yep, that’s the theme of this post. To bring back from the loving arms of death this website and breathe a little life to the collective world’s mundane existence. I tried my hand at poetry in the post prior to this one, and yeah it is incredibly…juu juu juu for lack of a better word (yes, Sir Abad will kill me).

I’m tempted to delete all that dribble from last year. And I’m quite glad to update that all that was written in that second post is now irrelevant. I am now free, in all senses of the word.

Creative shit go here.  Will proly do my nanowrimo here as well~

Anyway, great to be back.

You See

The Rain was a surprise
a delicate drizzle rolls into a violent thrash
the wetness beginning
from my ankles and carreening
the line of my throat

But it didn’t seem as cold as
the frozen look in your Eyes;
the indifferent manner by which
you regarded my slumping shoulders

And your Words were nice
and perfect and righteous
dictating a proper, sane movement
controlled by the slowly revolving world

Still, they danced ’round
blurring my line of sight
softening my focus on the surroundings
and hardening my resolve

‘Tis perfectly alright to have
curbed this little insanity, this chance
the World turns continuous
It stops for No One.

what is with today?

i just saw this video on youtube, and it reminded me of someone i admire.

just a shoutout to sir ariel lopez. under the circumstances, i think your efforts were set aside by the light of the young genius that is fudolig. she’s not the only one who stepped into service immediately.

still fighting the good fight? i hope we meet again soon.

blop

i’m always angry nowadays. or sad. or frustrated. it’s always one or the other. but i have little patience with people who are always angry or sad or frustrated, so i make a choice not to be. sometimes it works, most times it doesn’t. so i just find the nearest bathroom or closed door and cry a bit til it clears off. it’s better than being all suicidal and unproductive and shit. and i make the effort not to be angry or sad or frustrated at other people, or at least not to show it. its probably not even their fault yknow. its probably mine for being too sensitive.

so. a place where i can think.

who i am isn’t important. hell, what i type isn’t important. this is just a place to release several brain farts that don’t fit in with my lj account because its too saturated with RL stuff.

let’s just get some facts out:

my gender is irrelevant. i’m filipino, which in the world’s social standing is apparently the new chinese. i’m very fickle in my head, but in rl i’m quite stable. i’m good at hiding things, which is why i need this place so that some of it can breathe free air. i like reading, though i’m not too willing to shell out enormous sums just to read something that i will finish in a day. hurrah for the internet. i’m very easily influenced, unfortunately. i need to be more assertive. i have a few talents that haven’t been reaching their full potential, and this frustrates me a lot. i’m good at fixing things, and i become very frustrated when i can’t. i sometimes start things that i can’t finish.

like now. i have things to do before dinner, and a lot more afterwards. pleased to meet you all.