“Ryan’s Window” – flashfiction

Ryan drained his FIFA Deustchland 2002 commemorative mug, the multicolored logos of countless sponsors emblazoned on it almost completely disintegrated after years of being washed, microwaved, and accidentally left for days in the kitchen to encrust and develop its own ecosystem. He was getting terribly annoyed at the blank document flashing in front of him. It wasn’t even real paper, acting all high and mighty just because it had lights swimming through overpriced liquid crystal; how dare it mock him (especially that infuriating cursor, aptly named, Ryan thought bitterly, because it cursed all the ideas out of his head). He continued staring at the soulless screen, muttering variations of “Gapookles” under his breath. Gapookles was a substitute swear word he had invented; in his desperation to churn out something for his expectant editor he made a pact to quit brain and speech-swearing, in exchange for a trickle of inspiration. Clearly it doesn’t work that way; he had been glaring at the blank Word file for the last nine days and counting. Gapookles.

The signs that he was losing his current war against The Block was seen all over his work space. Under his room’s only window, his forty-year-old desk, a relic from his deceased grandfather (never met him; Lolo Rodelo had died before the fall of Marshall Law with his fat-lined heart full of hope and love for F. Marcos, bless it), had at least 17 new watermarks from when he forgot to put a coaster under his beloved mug. Apparently he forgot it again today as he set his mug down carelessly near the edge of the desk.

For the last six hours and forty-seven minutes he had seriously considered just giving up on it completely; quite possibly, it wasn’t his destiny to become a writer; maybe he was supposed to be an accountant and he just missed the train, that one lesson (probably in high school) that would have made him interested in numbers and devote the rest his life in pursuit of its beauty. He might have been in a different place now; certainly not here, in this attic room in a boarding house, trying to leech unsecured internet off from a neighboring house with his blasted second-hand notebook computer with the empty, taunting screen.

But then, lifting his eyes for a split second off the computer to his open window, the skyline almost invisible, blocked by a smattering of ill-fitting balconies and laundry lines, he caught a glimpse of the midnight moon, which astonishingly looked exactly like a Bat Signal. Ryan’s brow furrowed as he suddenly recalled a line delivered by the then-White-Knight of Gotham, Harvey Dent, just as if he was screaming it directly to his ear: “You can’t give in!”

It was completely out of context, Ryan knew. Despite that, he felt his head snap back into alertness, and, after refilling his FIFA Deutschland 2002 commemorative mug (and grabbing a coaster from his landlady’s kitchen), he headed back into his attic, squared his shoulders, took a steadying breath, and, for the umpteenth time, he started to write.

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A/N:
The day started out perfectly well, but then after I got home things started going downhill. The problem is, while I do realize that whatever it is that is upsetting me doesn’t have even a speck of importance in the grand scheme of things, it’s still upsetting. So I swore that I’d write something, even if it was just drabble, before going to bed, just to sort out some thoughts I had. The snippet above doesn’t have much to do with what pissed me off today, but it helped.

UP AME Presents: AME no Jidai

For its ninth year anniversary celebration, the University of the Philippines Anime Manga Enthusiasts leaps through boundaries as it turns the pages of time back to the age of feudal Japan! Get ready for a historical event as your favorite collegiate anime organization presents yet another timeless anime fair!

AME no Jidai
Making History
COSPLAY COMPETITION ● DUBBING CONTEST ● TEA ROOM ● J-MUSIC CONCERT
● FANART CONTEST ● FAIR BOOTHS ● KARAOKE CONTEST ● AND MANY MORE!

NOVEMBER 28, 2009
A-Venue Hall, Makati
1:00 – 10:00 PM

Presale tickets: 90 pesos
Onsite tickets: 100 pesos

Visit our booth at the AS Walk from November 17 – 20, and at the CAL Basement from November 24 – 25 on the UP Diliman campus to purchase your presale tickets!

For more information, contest mechanics and event updates, please check the official microsite of AME no Jidai, or the UP AME Forums.

The UP Anime Manga Enthusiasts (UP AME) is the first ever recognized collegiate anime organization in the Philippines. They are also the same group behind previous successful events such as the Una kAME!, kAME Ulit!, AME Matsuri, AME Gakuensai and AME 8th Avenue.

Protected: Time Isn’t Healing – a short story

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“And remember kids, always eat your food colourings and preservatives.”

I can’t believe I just found out about the Sci-Fi channel today. And they’re showing Firefly! XD It’d be awesome to watch it on TV, seeing as watching it on my computer like I did last year has given me permanent migraines. And really, the little laptop monitor does not do it justice. It’s an opera (at least, a space opera), it should have a stage big enough for its sweeping grandeur.

And some Jayne/River in hi-res wouldn’t be so bad either XD

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Yesterday I had lunch with my brother and cousins in Trinoma. My second-cousin, who teaches in New York, came for a surprise visit. We hadn’t seen her since her wedding to her Taiwanese dream dude, so we had an awesome time. I’m quite pleased that we cousins are so close. I just hope the staff in Mary Grace weren’t so disturbed with our penis talk over the vigan longganisa sandwiches.

After lunch, we decided to go for frozen yogurt somewhere, then meet up with another cousin who was studying in some coffee shop. On the way there we passed by AstroVision. Recently I’ve been going into every audio store to find anything by Tokio Hotel, with no luck. So I stop the browsing routine and go directly to the desk to ask if they had any on record. This is what I did in AstroVision. Usually, there’s nothing by TH at all, but if the database has a hit, it’s usually been out of stock ages ago and will no longer be restocked.

AstroVision had a hit. A Tokoi Hotel TV – Caught on Camera DVD. One copy.

And so I bounced on the balls of my feet while waiting for the sales lady to retrieve it. When I saw her return empty handed, I thought it must have been another false alarm. The staff said sorry and then left me to browse around on my own. I went to the concert DVD section and underneath the JonasBrothers and Mariah Carey and Nirvana was a very, very shiny copy of the Tokio Hotel DVD. I literally squealed. I immediately took it to the counter and grabbed what was left of my money (yes, I will not be eating lunch anytime soon), and hopped out of the store a happy frog.

I usually don’t spend for media, seeing as anything can be acquired for free through the internet these days, but my friend told me that if I really wanted an artist to take notice of our country and come visit, then the fans would have to let them know that they have a market here. And buying their merchandise is one of the ways we can do that.

It was well worth it. Seeing Bill in his boxers and looking at a naked Georg with such a sizzling gaze, and hearing Tom insult his twin over and over and over again is just an excellent way to spend 70 relaxing minutes. I’d have to watch it a million and one times until I know the dialogue by heart, so I don’t have to look at the subtitles and be able to concentrate on the lovely images.♥

Yes, it was very delicioso~♥

Okay, back to the real world now~

The Pursuits of the Aged

Let’s see.. The dear Lord was merciful in the news that the elder Velarde is withdrawing from the presidential run. But it doesn’t really cancel the fact that Erap is running again. Shouldn’t there be a law against people running for president if they had been forcibly kicked out of the position previously? And then there’s F. Ramos, who is 80-plus-plus, running if Erap does indeed decide to go for the “honoured” spot. Not to reitirate what His Royally Impeached Ass has said about FVR being “amoy lupa”*, but Ramos might be a tad too old, despite his “good intentions”. Not everyone can be as agile in old age as Dumbledore, who still ended up dead (spoiler? not).

Newsflash though, Mr. Pera: You’re not too springy yourself, though your talahib-ness is quite notable.

—

So many people are running for president, and not a single one of them is a clean bet, especially if they already had an infomercial air on TV. A lot of cash shelled out for their campaign also means a lot of cash to siphon back from the country’s already emaciated vault (or so we think). So unless they were already quite wealthy to begin with, maybe they should cut the campaign tricks and focus on their plans to help the country, and how these plans may be carried out whether they are elected to office or not.

Try an online campaign if they must have it. Cheap and proliferating.  Of course, the best testimony would be word-of-mouth, so if they just do a good job in whatever position they are in now, then it would be enough. It SHOULD be enough.

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In other news, this 53-year-old pre-need company boss man named Miguel Vazquez died yesterday while participating in an Iron Man Triathlon (which impresses me, really. I am a sucker for active elderly men). He kicked the bucket with a heart-attack in the middle of the swimming leg D:. While he does sport several bruises on his body, there is no reason to believe that there was any murderous intent from any of the people in the meet, participating or otherwise.

What’s sad is that while this man is now a rotting corpse in a morgue somewhere, people did not think so much of his death as they did of the money they invested on his companies pre-need plans. Yes, I know you invested, and pre-need companies such as his are really in the swirly right now, but give the man and his family a few days of mourning before you blame him of conviniently dying to avoid his debts.

*Philippine STAR article, Aug 24 2009: No common candidate for opposition in 2010

Makes Sense To Me?

I admit that I find it hard to write about current issues concerning the fate of our country and people because I find myself disengaged to it. I’m not exactly in the milk-for-my-cereal, coffeemate-for-my-coffee income bracket (unless those 3-in-1 coffee packets count), heck, I don’t even have an income bracket yet D: But I also admit that I’m not counted in the wide majority of people who get largely affected by little (or big) decisions by the government. My tuition fee has increased a bit, but it’s still manageable, and I’m able to acquire life’s necessities and sometimes even get a taste of what it’s like in the A-circle.

But that does not mean I am excused from caring just because no one I know has died or have been evicted by the government or treated brusquely by officials. Someone I know very dearly could be next. Or it could be me.

No matter how colorful the last SONA was, with all it’s glittery-garbed attendance roll or the supposed “achievements” the administration had, there is no doubt that this country is still in a very bad place. Even if the trademark Filipino smile is ever present on the lips of the people, one only has to look closely to see that underneath that showing of teeth is the tinges of blood from TB or jaundiced eyeballs or brittle bones on the verge of collapsing under the weight of another sack of cement.

I see a whole lot of it during my commute trips to the main city and back again to my little provincial burg. But that’s all. My eyeballs develop it and my brain shoves it down deep into my subconscious, to be roused only when something affects me directly. It’s annoying.

And so we complain. It’s something that a lot of bloggers (though not all) do best; complain about this and that and expect that our writing should start the Filipino awakening. And yet, even now as we complain about the price of basic commodities and the mindanao situation and government corruption, we provide no solid solution for these. I include myself in the mass of people who just complain but then sit comfortably in front of the television watching Friends reruns while my fellow iskolar ng bayan are rallying against government oppresion on education.

I am ashamed. I hope it doesn’t take a friend’s dead body to make me get off that couch and start changing things. When we see a problem, let’s not just target it and say how wrong it is; let’s try to create a plan to solve it.

I’m not really helping am I?*flails*

at last this paper~

Set in an old, seemingly provincial hospital ward, “At Last This Fragrance” gives you the feel of a emergency room drama, similar to today’s House or Grey’s Anatomy, but with more concern for the patients rather than the relationships between the doctors and staff. Here we see a young intern question the nature of Christmas, happiness and our own impending end. I believe this kind of story appeals not only to the Filipino readers but to audiences worldwide, because such settings and such circumstances can be found all over; death, and all subsequent attempts to avert it.

Our hero here goes unnamed, but it is clearly felt that he genuinely wants to become an able doctor, despite his lack in personal skills. Miss Baza, who I can only assume is the hospital crush, spares him some attention as they do the post-colonial Filipino tradition of creating a nativity scene, or a Belen. Our hero states here that this pleases him, but the most emotion we get from him is when his heart patient dies peacefully on her bed. Despite saying over and over that it gets easier and hospital deaths don’t affect him any longer, we see in the final scene that this death, which occurs on Christmas day, ingrains itself deep into his mind, and he longs to be comforted like one of those bedside visitors he so detests.

It’s haunting in a way that, for all the peace and order religion affords us; one can never be ready for death. It comes with silent footsteps and a whisper, and no matter how we continue to say that death is just another journey; that everybody dies, it is still a terrible shock to those who are witness to it. The viewers are on edge; the dying are at peace.

this month’s brain-bleeding moment #1

Some random ?girl? added me in y!m. I thought it was an org applicant so I added them right back. Turns out it was just someone who was apparently smoking bucketfuls of weed on this fine evening.

The following was our retarded conversation, comments on the side:

rachel m: hi there
me: who is this please?
rachel m: i’m rachel
rachel m: i just selected a random ad from a forwarded email (lack of good company? depressing)
me: do i know you?
rachel m: we dont know each other
rachel m: i just have a question, is it ok?
me: alright
me: but i’d have to delete you after, sorry.
rachel m: great
rachel m: no worries
rachel m: uhm, i just want you to rate my bf…(what. the. felix felicis.)
rachel m: he’s my first (by choice)
rachel m: i’m rachel, 23, qc
rachel m: is it ok?
me: i don’t know. how will i do that? i don’t even know the person
rachel m: are you at home? i’ll just show you a pic
rachel m: i just need an opinon of another woman i do not know..
me: yes, but i won’t accept file transfers
rachel m: so that there wouldnt be any bias
me: or links
rachel m: no file transfer, just photosharing
me: ahiya, not even that ^^;
rachel m: oh..
rachel m: i see..
rachel m: so i cant get your opinon regarding this?
me: i have no idea who you are, so i can’t get a guarantee that what you’ll show me isn’t something nasty
me: i guess~
rachel m: i was about to ask you that question. haha! its a bit ‘private’…  (WTFFFFFFFFF)
me: yah. no thanks then.
rachel m: alright
rachel m: no worries
rachel m: sorry to bother you (ick, you should be.)
me: right. goodluck.

+++

Good goats, I have no desire to judge the length and breadth of some random guy’s penis. Please redirect your questions elsewhere. And see someone to rewire your brain, some circuits seem to be crack-a-lackin’.

On Being Serious

I decided to download some fancy techno-jap and korean music to help me study. Not that I’m a huge fan of leggy dancing girls with teeny voices (though CL’s ample bottom calls to me in my sleep), but the beats they have are ideal for my brain to settle into a good rythm for studying. Creative Writing is turning out to be more stressful that I had thought originally, but I can’t really complain about any of my professors. Sir O and Dr. L are epic, and even Sir C’s class is putting in a little weight. And Sir A will start serious business in the upcoming week, which makes me feel apprehensive. This is the first time I’ve felt the need to really study in order to understand each lesson. When I’m with these professors I feel so…lacking in my literary experience But I do feel excited about learning all these new things. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to use them in my future..plans

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Speaking of things I’m excited about, we’re finally getting a new car this week. I can learn how to drive properly yay! It’s a huge car though, which is kind of better. I prefer to practice on a harder stage so that when I use a relatively easy one it’ll be a walk in the park.

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I’ve been getting text messages from student activists beggingasking me if I’ll be present at GMA’s SONA tomorrow afternoon. Every time they accost me I feel guilty for not being SOOOOOOOOOO politically aware and active and warfreakish. I know that these issues are important to students, and as citizens we should really raise our voices and contribute our opinions on national matters. I just wonder if staking out the SONA venue would really help much at this point. The term is almost over (or is it?haxxxx), and the alternatives at this point is pretty much the same (or worse ugh) than what we have. I believe the moment we get a suitable, righteous candidate, is the moment that things will shift and people will be united.

Or maybe someone should just get shot and make the people’s rage spill over.

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Must get back to studying now. I still have to:

>Read through two more stories

>Edit/rewrite the dribble I made (If only it was fantasy ahuhu) for Sir O

>Look for a suitable reading to share/discussin Sir A’s class

>Look for the next story for Sir W’s class and write that epic reaction paper

>Schedule Dead Stars or 3Penny Opera, reaction papers on both

>Decide on a local author to analyze for CL 122′s final paper huhu

>Look for job openings here and elsewhere

>READ MORE

must do more of that last one during my free time. I feel so..behind on things D:

Humiliation – an excerpt

Okay, the workshop session was AWSUM. They bashed all the characters XD Which gets me to thinking that there must be a certain flavor to reality; you need to put in some more of this and remove some of that, for it to become a story worth reading. It’s all fiction anyway, aiyah! XDDDD